Pure Randomness

...Stick The Knife In...
Remember the smell of her hair
Love and trust and innocence and respect
Forever and ever
Hurts more than words can say

...Break it off...
She used to hug you so hard,
that your ribs would hurt.
You were the luckiest man alive.

...Deeper...
Remember the soft morning sun
playing across her white skin
shining off her hair.

...Deeper...
Christ, she was beautiful
So sweet and so kind,
She was perfect.

...Twist It...
Remember,
How you used to wake up at night
and watch her sleep.
Lifes beauty shined.
...Die...

Closet

I feel as if am in a closet right now and there is nothing I can do to get out.

God has been working on me, lately and every day there is a new lesson to learn, 'assigment' to do, 'projects' to present and most of all attitudes to be adjusted.

I can't say I have played my part very well or have been faithful enough as doing His will or living up to His word is concerned. But am trying to get back on track and hopefully catch up from where I left.

The year is almost coming to an end, and everyone and everything seems to be screaming Christmas and the place to be, things to do and pple to be with in order to have fun. But I know this is not the case with me, since the more I hear about it; the more the loneliness and melachonic feelings deep inside me are stirred up.

I don't know what to do or where to go since the place to be or pple to be with are not even there in the first place. My prayer this year was that I shouldn't have to go through what I had gone through during my previous christmas holidays and I fear for a repeat of this, come this Christmas.

But I don't know whether I should console myself with the fact that Christmas is far to start worrying about it or wondering how it will turn out to be. But I will also be lying if I say I don't think about it almost daily.

My battles with eyecandies are taking new turns everyday and I don't even have the strength or confidence to say where I am in this fight or where my strength lies. For I know where I at times get myself.

Smartkid came with moods today. But I let go since I had no intentions of having my moods or day spoilt by someone else. By the way its good that they left later after that.

So where do I stand in all of this? The answer! am not sure but all I can say is that I pray am standing on the sure foundation and am rooted perfectly in Him.

Saw this quote by Roosevelt (sp.) and just had to share...

Who counts?

"It is not the critic who counts: not he man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; But does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotion; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Desire

Two hearts fading, like a flower.
And all this waiting, for the power.
For some answer, to this fire.
Sinking slowly. The water’s higher.
Desire

With no secrets. No obsession.
This time I'm speeding with no direction.
Without a reason. What is this fire?
Burning slowly. My one and only.
Desire

You know me. You don't mind waiting.
You just can't show me, but God I'm praying,
That you'll find me, and that you'll see me,
That you run and never tire.
Desire"