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Saturday, October 29, 2005


Thinking Of You Again

I can't help it
I thought about
you all day
long

I know I should get
on with my
life
Finding somebody new

I just can't
I am still loving you

I'd like to hear
your side
of the story
then if you
really wan't me
to go

I will
I promise
Thinking of you again
Wondering if you love me

I know I should get
on with my life
I just can't untill
I hear from you


In the Soil

I’ve been lost so many times
Come back to what I’ve found
Nothing more than when I left
When’s my time going to come around

I feel the change in the wind
My branches bending to the east
Trying to find another life
That I can grow older with in peace

I’ve been to so many places
In my mind I have found
No solace in understanding
Why my roots hold me in the ground

But out of the soil
Grows another tree
A bit tried and turned over
By the winds of thine enemy

Now I know why I’ve been searching
Why I’ve collected these scars upon my face
Destiny was built to make us run around
But only we can find our place

So I offer you my branch
Take of it what you will
Perhaps our roots can grow together
In the soil we will fill

Sunday, October 23, 2005



UNANSWERED QUESTIONS


over the years I have discovered I have alot of questions, questions I have asked and gotten no responses and questions I have asked funny enough gotten answered.

But my focus today won't be on the questions that have been answered but the questions which have remained unanswered.

My questions will be divided into three groups:
1. Questions I have asked God
2. Questions I have asked pple
3. Questions I have asked myself

Someone once told me, that there are questions which God will never answer, and these are the 'Why' questions. At first I thought this was a joke, but after looking at the kind of questions I have asked, I agreed that its true they have remained unanswered.

I guess the reason being that God knows what we need, when we need it and how we need it. Him being greater than we are, we can't farthom His ways since His ways aren't our ways and His thoughts aren't our thoughts...so with that I don't have a choice but just to trust Him and let Him what He wants to do with my life..

At most we should always try to have this reminder at the back of our minds! Man doesn't know everything, but that shouldn't be an excuse to throughout every opportunity to ask or seek an opininon and until we realize this we will always have issues as to why our questions remain unanswered.

The last category is the hardest, it right not to be able to answer ourselves for it shows we are reasoning not only with our inner man but our heads as well, something that doesn't happen often.

So I hope next time a question goes unanswered I will have the strength and reason to understand why...

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


The Call

I have heard it all my life,
A voice calling a name I recognized as my own.

Sometimes it comes as a soft-bellied whisper.
Sometimes it holds an edge of urgency.

But always it says: Wake up my love. You are walking asleep.
There's no safety in that!

Remember what you are and let this knowing
take you home to the Beloved with every breath.

Hold tenderly who you are and let a deeper knowing
colour the shape of your humanness.

There is no where to go. What you are looking for is right here.
Open the fist clenched in wanting and see what you already hold in your hand.

There is no waiting for something to happen,
no point in the future to get to.
All you have ever longed for is here in this moment, right now.

You are wearing yourself out with all this searching.
Come home and rest.

How much longer can you live like this?
Your hungry spirit is gaunt, your heart stumbles. All this trying.
Give it up!

Let yourself be one of the God-mad,
faithful only to the Beauty you are.

Let the Lover pull you to your feet and hold you close,
dancing even when fear urges you to sit this one out.

Remember- there is one word you are here to say with your whole being.
When it finds you, give your life to it. Don't be tight-lipped and stingy.

Spend yourself completely on the saying.
Be one word in this great love poem we are writing together.

Saturday, October 08, 2005


A LETTER TO GOD

TO: God@heavenyahoo.co.hv
From: mythology@earthyahoo.co.ea

Dear God,

I know by know you must be wondering why I haven't been writing and what in the world has been taking me that long. Well here we go.

Things down here have been crazy (I know you already know all about it) and to make matters worse its like if I don't have an Idea what am doing, what am up to or where am headed.

By the way forgive my bad matters, hows' heaven? I hope you aren't having any Katrinas like us here and above all all the angels haven't gone on strike.

To tell you the truth since the 27-12 things haven't been the same, I remember you telling me, the incident was going to take me far that I was willing to go, well I did go far than I was willing to go and I did pay more than I was willing to pay. Still I can't say I have learnt from my mistakes, I guess am being stubborn, silly and stupid but please don't see this as being rude or disobedient, I am really trying....

As far as QT is concerned let me just say I have been bored to do it, reasons I don't know! I know thats a stupid excuse but lately I have been waking up tired and feeling all stressed out and when going to bed am too angry with myself or too tired from running up and down to even have QT.

You had asked about family, you know the internet here is expensive and slow, and the time isn't on my side and.....did I tell you about the dust......

School has been okay! I know I ought to be grateful and thankful, but I have been feeling drained out by it, and to make things interesting I don't feel like reading, I don't want to read for the exams, am not yet settled....yes the list is endless...but honestly am grateful and I hope you might consider giving me more IQ power to understand some of the subjects...

As for the friends you gave me, well funny things have been happening, let me just confess and tell you that I decided to let go of one of them, since I so they were taking advantage of my kindness and making me feel as if I was a bother in there lives, but there are two of them who have been really nice to me, one is a lady and the other is a gentleman, I won't mention them by name since internet down here is usually taped...

I guess thats all I wanted to say, hope to write more and do great everyone up there...

Friday, October 07, 2005

This poem is dedicated to two of my most fervent readers and friends


Thanks for being there


I've had one of those days
you know what I mean
so I sit back and relax
and turn on my screen.

I'll talk to all my friends
who know just what to say
to make my stresses go
and my troubles fade away.

My friends you're always there for me
whenever I feel blue
and though we've never met before
I know our friendships true.

And although we haven't been friends for long
in this short time it seems
we shared so many things already
our hopes, our fears, our dreams.

We come from different walks of life
but we share a common bond
and it's time to say that of all of you
I've grown so very fond.

So friends thanks for being there
whenever I've needed you
I know you're always there for me
and you know I'm there for you.