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Tuesday, August 30, 2005


Two sides of me

Two people in one,
one happy, one sad,
Two sides of me,
one mad and one glad.

There's only one side
I try to let show;
my feelings inside
the others don't know.

I'm two people in one,
as strange as that sounds,
the real me inside
no one has found.

Thursday, August 18, 2005


My rainbow

I’m going to make a rainbow,
A rainbow for you and me,
I’ll paint it in the sky,
I’ll paint it for everyone to see,

A rainbow to let everyone,
Know just how I feel,
A rainbow to remind me,
That it was all real,

Make me remember the good times,
And remember the bad,
The times when I was happy,
And the times when I was sad,

I’ll let everyone know,
How I feel inside,
They’ll know the reasons why I smiled,
And the reasons why I cried,

Each colour,
Will describe a different feeling,
Each line,
Will have its own meaning,

I’ll paint a line of red,
For the love we once shared,
And a line of orange,
To show you once cared,

I’ll follow it with yellow,
To show how happy you made me,
And then green,
To show we were naturally meant to be,

Next to come was blue,
To represent where I am now, in the sky.
Indigo to show,
The tears you made me cry,

And purple for the sunset,
You now watch each day,
It makes you wish that you hadn’t,
Made me throw my life away.

Monday, August 15, 2005



REASONS WHY AM AN OPTIMIST



On Saturday my friend asked me a question, "Am I an optimist or a pessimist"?

I can't remember answering the question and also doubt I even thought about it then.

Guess I was busy eating, looking at the pple passing by, worrying about deadlines, wondering about what I was doing there, scared about the bills waiting to be paid, frightened that I was yet to find that which I was looking for; gosh the list is endless.

And when I look at the list above all I see are the signs and symptoms of a pessimist than that of a optimist.

I guess the list also explains my root of cynicism and somewhat naivety. But the more I looked at the list the more I saw another side of me hidden within these maze of questions, fears and worries, I saw a positive side.

A side that tries to see the light at the end of every tunnel, a side that laughs when the default emotion should be fear, a side that dares to stand when others agree I should be seated.

A side that remembered, "All things work for good to those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose".

A side that knows, "It’s longer I that lives...", "Its not about me...”, "its all about him".

A side that knows, "He that is in me is greater than he that’s in the world"

A part of me that believes, "He will never give you stones when you ask for bread, and will never give you snakes when you ask for Fish".

A part of me that prays, "Not my will but yours be done"

And these is what made me finally realize and know the kind of person I was, I was an OPTIMIST and proud to be one.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Another Tear Filled Night



Sitting here in tears again
With so many things going wrong
Can't make sense of these thoughts in my head
All I know is, I'm not strong

Flashbacks to that frightful night
When I was thrown into that wall
It was months ago but it still hurts me
I can still look back and see myself fall

Remembering all the times
That my best friend and I spent together
When they were always there for me
I loved them like no other

Always fighting with my family
There's no love left in this home
No one cares about anyone
We are all left to deal on our own

A supportive friend that loves me
Just my luck, there're millions of miles away
Never get to be in there arms
I'm just waiting for that day

The best friends I could ever ask for
But none that live nearby
No one that can be here
To catch the tears I cry

Fights with all my friends here
I have no one here at all
It's like no one even cares
Just how hard I fall

Just another tear filled night tonight
Just another lost little boy
Searching for someone to understand him
In this f u c k e d up world