STRANGER TO MYSELF.

Yesterday it hit me that I have been spending lots of time, money and energy trying to understand myself and know the real me. At the same time trying to make others understand me and appreciate me for whom I am.

Alot of this energy and time has also been spent trying to fit in with my self and others, and in the same way try to understand them as well and appreciate them. But then I came to a saddening realization that its me who has been doing lots if this appreciating and accepting thing and in almost all cases it has never been reciprocated in anyway. Especially when I need it the most.

As the years have rolled by, I have realized that I have been trying so hard to be appreciate by the so called companions that I lost track and sight of the man inside, his needs and wants and failed to listen to him at the same time. And now all that remains is a stranger and someone who I even don't seem to know or have the guts to communicate with.

This has made it hard for me to try and understand the things I did, the way I perceived things, and the way I felt. And this just explains why I have found it hard to express my true feelings towards somethings and pple and define who I really was.

I can't deny and say that after this realization, I went ahead and changed, No, I can assure you that the whole of today I spent doing exactly that I have mentioned above and trying to do the very think am speaking against right now.

And that is just a drop in the ocean