Whats with me?

That's the question I seem to be asking my self right now since Life here sometimes just feels like a series of disappointments, moments full of anger, lack of appreciation and back bitting and surrounded by a punch of hypocrites who just want to smile at you but when you have left the talk and do this to you.

I seem to be on different roads with the pple here and our our association with each other is like that of a rollercoaster (sp.)i.e. today we are talking nicely to each other, saying nice things to each other,but the next time you don't even want to see them.

I don't know why most of the pple I know and do good to always turn out to hurt me.Even when I try so much to forget what they have done and start our friendship/ relationship a new; they again go behind my back and just do something bad.

Right now am hurting so much inside as a result of someone who I thought was and had changed and there was something that could be salvaged from the previous hurts they had committed.

These pple are none other than miss.know-it-all, administrator and miss.pretender. I can trully tell you I actually went out of my way to remake our relationship with miss.know-it-all (after all she did) to the extent of even agreeing her to send me where she wanted. God knows how I have tried with the others.And all of this is problems are as a result of miss.know-it-all and mrs.pretender (I can excuse her since she is pregnant)

All this even made me reach a point where I asked God to change me, transform my thinking and make me better since It was too much for me. But I think the probelm its not with me.

Am now tired of all this, they can all go to hell if they wish. I will not do anything for them anymore its time I went back to that guy I used to be.

I wish you heard what the administrator said to me in front of this guys and how thaqt stupid woman thinks she is the best in all (am really mad)

Somthing told me this was going to happen again, but I pushed it aside saying it was my low self esteem talking but noe it has happened and I wish I listened.

I don't know why God is allowing me to pass through such moments in my life since they are so many that am asking Him to please take away this cup from me.

I really don't have any hatred for anyone and all my intentions are always true (He can searh my heart). All I ever wanted from pple was repect and understanding.

If they saw what I was doing wasn't good they should have come to me and told me so instead of complicating this matter and making me feel this way.

There are times I even dread coming to work and meeting such moments for I know they will get inprinted in me and they will just spoil my mood, and make me feel bad about myself, even when I know am innocent.

People always seem to be giving the opposite of what I give them, most of which are bad things.

God! I feel so bad..........