What can I say:

Its a new week, a new day and a new opportunity especially after the all not-nice weekend we were looking forward too.

Funny enough nowadays I don't look forward to weekends Like before, since all of the have acquired this pattern of I always getting lonely and hurt at the end.

On sunday went to hope center, the sermon was good but I ended up feeling all secluded, alone and angry. I thought church was supposed to be place where you feel welcomed when the world seems to reget you, happy when inside you is just sadness and true friends when there are longer pple to trust anymore.

As for me that was the opposite, since whenever I go there I end up feeling as the outcast, the guy who is not wanted and I feel it will be difficult for me to fit in. Right now am thinking of quiting DC and joining Hope, but after what I went thro' on sunday I wonder whether its worth it. I know DC has become a routine for me and I never wanted that to happen but I think its time I moved on since church is the last place I want to be routine for me.

But When I imagine the likes of Brian (and His group) being there, not forgetting some pple in my past who hurt me. I wonder whether am prepared for such and encounter. Yesterday there was a fun day for the youth there (trust me I needed some fun in my life at that particular moment), but the thought of seeing those guys made m freak out and I just left.

So I decided to go to DC, to see whether I would get any consolation but what I found there was more justtification for me leaving.

All in all the weekend did come to an end (but I know all this will not be for long) and when I looked back at the day as I lay in bed I was still the lonely Guy I had been earier.

NB:30TH POST