The lord has really been gracious, His love has kept me strong even when there was no ounce of strength in me to 'run' or even 'walk' any more.

His work in me has required me to loss, gain, give-up and surrender lots of stuff in me, it wasn't and hasn't been easy but all I know and am sure of is that it will "all work for the good" of me.

I have really not been doing that which He wants of me, and most of this has been as a result of me looking at what I can do and depending on my strength and intellect instead of Him and His strength.

I have messed up big time even when I knew I wasn't supposed to be doing what I was doing and most of the times it I who took myself there even with the knowledge that I wasn't supposed to.

Thats why like David am asking Him to "Purge me with hyssop" and to "create in me a clean heart" and not "to take His holyspirit away from me". Am also asking Him to "restore unto me the Joy of His salvation" (no wonder I have been depressed and sad of late) and "annoint me with His oil of gladness"

I know there will be alot to go through in my choosing to trust in Him and in being His child. But one thing I know and am sure of is that "He didn't bring me this far to leave me" and as long as I choose to obey Him, Trust in Him and be in Him, He "will never leave me nor forsake me".

Thus like Paul "I press on to the mark that has been laid before me" with perseverance and determination not with my own strength but with His and His counsel, provision and grace upon my life.

Amen