Well the GM just found me making noise at the cyber cafe and behaving like a kid. He just looked at me and and I thought he was going to say something but he just assumed and walked away (I hate that).

I am sure he saw me make a fool out of myself joking around with giddy. Honestly I don't know what got into me, to do such a thing (which is so unlike me). I know of late this kid has somehow become an obsession but am really trying to put him away from me and my work.

But I guess its due to the fact that, I have come to see a part of me in him that once wanted to feel included in what was happening around and that make me still welcome him back even when I know his company and presence is going to cost me. Talking of costing something, today he carelessly inserted a cmos battery which resulted in the main board spoiling. With the knowledge that this guys here are accussing me of spoiling the machine and this happening I really got mad but I didn't want to saw him that It was him I was angry at (Talk of being an example...suc!). I don't know whether tomorrow I should just make him stay away for a while so that I can do something worth while (I can see history repeating itself)

Had an argument with kim in the morning and guess who comes to my defence...miss.know-it-all...yes her. If that was not enough when the newspaper guy started saying something about me, she started to denying it saying how a nice man I was etc......(what a fake). I know she is trying to seem all sorry and symathetic but I will not fall for her stupid tricks again...I have forgiven her but I will never treat her the same way again. Earier on I wish you heard what miss.know-it-all was saying about herself.


If that wasn't enough, on my way to work in the morning I met with the administrator who I just greeted but pretended I was in such a hurry to get to work and walked off (The thougt of walking with her was just not possible)

Bob my former classmate was here today and yesterday too, tried to look all excited in seeing him but how can I forget the way he used to treat me when we were in class and the things he used to say about me. Anyway I only talked to him for a few minutes but excused myself under the pretext that I had something urgent to do.

I was reading davy's mail a few minutes ago, which kind of made me realize that atleast there are pple are still look forward to seeing and hearing from even when nothing much seems to be taking place around me in terms of friendships.

Yesterday I spent some time with mick on my way home, I don't know but this dude just makes me feel as if there is soemthing that he wants to tell me, but the communication just stops there. He is off duty for a while, so that means I will be seeing more of him as time goes by.

Watched my favo programme last night, which really made me feel somehow alive again. Even after the shop guy tried to prevent it, by giving me a different batt.

Yesteday I was really thinking about my future, school and all that, which really made me wonder what am doing and what my next steps were....God I just wish all this is over.