WHERE DO I STAND

Am feeling depressed, angry, unhappy and low (you get the mix), and the more I try to calm down the more I end up feeling worse.

Just came from having an argument with the administrator, she wants me to have a class which I don't want. Reason; the practical exams are on friday and the classes begin on thursday, when I try to explain this to her she tells me to plan myself, the other reason is that the end of semster is here and that means its cleaning time but that woman tells me I can do the work even over lunch time (why doesn't she work over lunch time)

And guess who supports her in her decision, that pregnant woman who lacks any moral justfication whatsover (I knew she was like her conterpart..sp).

All this has just messed me up, I don't know whether I should see the GM so we can have a look at my job specification (I wish you heard what the @##$@# said when I told her I would see the GM about the matter). Her justification of this matter is that I have been 'leisuring around' and all I do is just watch movies and listen to music (naff her twice).

Considering I was from Juja, tired and mentally exhausted from not only the journey, the events I saw there and the fact that I have to be making my trip to that place agin tomorrow and the day after, and coupled by the fact that I don't have money (I borrowed some from mrs.chairlady); the whole thing just breaks me down.

Talking of graduation, I don't know who to even invite, yesterday I was so tensed that I couldn't even focus, I tried to go to david's house but all I could do was just stare at the TV and just let him talk.

MISS.IWANNABEAMODEL was sacked by the MD on saturday (Why do something have to be this way), Honestly am so sorry for her, that I don't even want to imagine what she might be going through right now. why are some pple so inconsiderate?

My weekend was just another one of those things I just don't want to think about, I went to church (late....but I don't think I missed anything considering who was talking), so the same faces (actually there were more this time), but as soon as church was through so was I. Went to DS (I don't know why I still go back), found everyone to have gone expect the usual characters.

Guess who passes by; my nephew , I won't lie and say was all excited at seeing him, for I knew I had to invite him to come with me to work (I decided not to go iron)and that mean't even going to nav's which I had planned not to go. All in all we spent time together but I can't say it was that meaningful to me (I guess even to me).

And that was how my day and the day before was. Funny enough with all thi happening the temptation not to come to work is getting stronger (I think I should go for that came after all) and the more I think about all this guys who seem to just spoil my day and the fact that I will still be good to them really annoys me (I have just come from giving the bureau guy some software and I just hope I won't come to regret about it later.)

I really pray and ask God that this will not be the way things will be this week, and asking Him to really bless my days and to turn all this negative emotions to soemthing postive, amen.